Consumer Number One

Won't you listen to my story? I'm a victim of TV.
All that industry can offer is alright with me, you'll see.
I'm a buyer, I'm a spender, I'm consumer number one.

Friday evening there's the last chance for buying things you never need.
I get my money, grab my basket, supermarket, here I come!
Rushing through the entrance I start overtaking everyone.

Chocolate, biscuits, cornflakes, sugar, butter, marmalade and jam;
Matches, ballpens, trousers, blazers, budgies, noodles soup and soap.
I don't need a shopping-list, oh no, friends, I know what I need:

I need ice-cream, I need raincoats, I need hats and pins and milk;
I need pianos and detergents, I need ties of wool and silk.
Don't you see that I'm in trouble? I need everything indeed.

Oh what fun it is to push the trolley full of all that stuff!
Pay attention, fellow-buyers, I'm the champion, yes, I am.
Now I'm going to use my elbows, now my job is getting tough.

Let me pass, I am the greatest, I'm consumer number one.
Here I come with three full trolleys plus three baskets. Oh what fun!
By the way, I've got to pay for all the things I've got in there.

That's no problem, I've got credit, plastic money is alright.
So you've got too little money? Well, don't worry, that's alright.
If you haven't got the money - there is money in the bank!


(June 13th, 1984)



Heinrich Baumgarten